Last night I went out with some friends. They had made plans and invited me out on Thursday to join them. I was excited to come along, I mean I hadn't seen them in awhile, so of course I thought it'd be fun to catch up. On Friday I had second thoughts though, I wasn't feeling it as much anymore and I kinda wanted to just stay in and bum out. I feel awkward when going out lately. It just isn't fun anymore to me. I go out and I'm not looking to talk with anyone and have a meaningless conversation. I'm searching for different things in my life and I don't really care for that atmosphere right now. It just doesn't inspire me at all and I'm looking to be inspired by life. Well I ended up getting talked into going by my friend, D. So I put my big girl panties on and got dressed, but of course complained while doing so like any other girl that (1) I did not have anything to wear and (2) anything I tried on didn't fit me and I looked fat in. Silly girl problems. Well I went out and I didn't really enjoy myself at all, I guess I should've stuck with my gut, no pun intended. It happened to be Latin night and although I am Spanish, Brazilian, and Mexican; I am a white girl at heart. I mean don't get me wrong, I love my background, but I am not one to go out and dance to reggaeton music all night long, its just not my scene. I just stood by the wall all night and didn't even do much of swaying my hips. I also had a big bulky purse glued to my side the whole night that I wish I just left in the car because it was like my baby for the night that I wouldn't let go of. I drank a few drinks, not too many, but it wasn't even worth it to me. Anyways, I feel like I could of cared less to have gone out and I have no urge at all to go out again like that anytime soon. Never say never, but just not right now. I need to keep myself focused on pursuing my dreams, my goals, and excelling my life. I think for now I'm okay with being a homebody for a bit. I'm ready to spend my nights throwing on my jammies and popping in a redbox or cramming for my classes. I'm pretty behind on the whole 50 Shades of Grey bandwagon so maybe I'll catch myself up on that. I think I'm gonna be okay doing my thing.
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